'a walk', work in progress

you hear the voice pronouncing the counting rhythm to choose the number--and that counting resembles the inner voice of someone who is affected by OCD, whereas counting can serve as a means of controlling the compulsion itself. therefore, if you think of it, the compulsion can be represented in a form of an algorithm: 

1. select a number from 1 to 10. 
2. count until the number is reached. 
3. choose the predetermined path according to that number. 
4. move towards following the path. 
5. if the crack is reached, go back and start over. 
6. else: reach the end of the path and start over. 

OCD is characterized by the presence of obsessions (i.e., intrusive thoughts, images, or impulses that give rise to subjective distress) and/or compulsions (i.e., repetitive or ritualistic behaviors)¹. remember yourself walking down the road as a child: cracks on the asphalt represent something alien, posing danger and, thus, have to be avoided. sometimes it becomes a fun game--jump over the crack and you’ll win. in other cases, it is an attempt of an anxious mind to break the cycle of obsessive thought. because something bad can happen, if you step on the crack.

if we question the logic beneath the for-loop, it is not purely clear and graspable from our first acquaintance with the function. regardless, any function in computing language is created by a human to ease the communication between human and digital machines, avoiding the need of complex binary encoding. Nobert Wiener, who is thought to be an originator of the term cybernetics, rises the notion of connectedness of living things and machines in his  Cybernetics: Or Control and Communication in the Animal and the Machine. he poses, among other things, that “Psychology contains much that is foreign to logic, but--and this is an important fact--any logic which means anything to us can contain nothing which the human mind--and hence the human nervous system--is unable to encompass.”² therefore, algorithmic thinking is natural to our behavioral activation. 

a pen plotter such as axidraw is a 2D CNC machine, which stands for computer-numeric control and implies the automated control of tools by means of a computer. plotters are mainly used for vector drawings. it moves alongside the X and Y axis and is not aware of its own position.

the sharp needle attached to the machine instead of the pen moves according to the described earlier algorithm alongside the cracked metal plate. upon movement, it creates a scratchy, irritating sound and leaves traces on the plate. when the needle encounters a crack, it goes back to the starting point and starts counting over. thus, the mechanism reflects the thought process, the anxiety and the precision of action in someone with OCD. this precision and logic parallels computational logic (which is, inevitably, developed by a human), revealing the naturalness of feedback loops in how not only the mind, but the world operates--where everything is aware of its surroundings and is changing under the influence of signals coming in around.

there is, as Wiener notes, “an important difference between the way in which we use the brain and the machine”, because where “the machine is intended for many successive runs, either with no reference to each other, or with a minimal, limited reference, and that it can be cleared between such runs; while brain in the course of nature, never even approximately clears out its past records.”³ therefore, the basis of the repetition in my work is completely empty, and speculative. whereas “In psychoanalytic models, the content of compulsive symptoms was related to behaviors that previously served to reduce anxiety, but these behaviors had now become exaggerated and overgeneralized; such as engaging in handwashing to avoid criticism from one’s parents”. what is in OCD’s compulsion presents to have ritualistic nature based on excessive habit formation, is more of a normal state of operation in a machine to follow the instruction assigned to the system in a form of external output (probably human).